I have a theory: Taylor Swift is actually a gay man, and more specifically, a twink. She gets the guy of everyone’s dreams: a Kennedy, makes out with his cousin, breaks up with him, and is now getting a prestigious award from his family. Maybe she isn’t just gay, maybe she’s also the smartest con artist of all time. (And yes, I am writing this while listening to ‘22’ on repeat.)
Katy Perry was spotted shooting a commercial for irrelevant Popchips because she too, like Nicki Minaj, believes the world is actually going to end on December 21 and is therefore taking every endorsement deal thrown at them. Next, Katy Perry is expected to be the new face of Wawa’s upcoming line of hoagies. On Thursday Perry snuck into the White House and snagged a picture with First Lady Michelle Obama. Before Michelle had the chance to say “What the—“ Perry escaped through a secret tunnel, leaving only a trail of sea salt and vinegar Popchips crumbs.
Joe and Tina Simpson are divorcing! The splitting of assets will be difficult since the only things they own are Jessica Simpson handbags filled with Jessica Simpson perfume bottles.
Snooki is launching her own jewelry and hair accessories collection entitled “Snooki Couture by Nicole Polizzi.” Why are you in fashion school again?
What’s worse than Teen Mom Farrah Abraham’s crying face? Her new face post-plastic surgery.
Everybody’s favorite possible lesbian, Kelly Clarkson, is voting for Barack Obama! But she’s still “a Republican at heart.”
Do you hate everyone like I do? Are you an angst ridden pre-teen? Are your parents both super stars? Then we should all get this homeless chic jacket Willow Smith is wearing that proclaims our shared sentiments: “I hate everyone.”
I know you wish paparazzi were incessantly snapping pictures of you as you tried on slutty Halloween costumes. You’ll just have to live vicariously through Courtney Stodden though because there’s enough titty action in this Halloween store to turn a gay man straight.
Want to see Kris Jenner’s nipple? I know you do! I would put a NSFW warning, but this entire site is NSFW, so you’re already fucked.
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