Justin Bieber’s Sex Doll, Louis Tomlinson Hates On Larry, Honey Boo Boo’s New Pet, and Everything Else You Missed This Week In Pop

First off, the creepiest celeb news story this week is the announcement of a Justin Bieber blow-up sex doll that I don’t think is designed as birthday presents for 12-year-old girls. Surprisingly, this isn’t Bieber-sponsored (he would be even richer!), and it includes an inflatable penis. Even more upsetting is the fact that the doll is already sold out.

One Direction’s least attractive (but still attractive) band member, Louis Tomlinson, says that Larry shippers, 1D fans who believe he’s in a gay relationship with fellow bandmate Harry Styles, aren’t real fans and expressed disappointment and aggravation with the faction. To relieve his frustration, he read some Larry Stylinson fan fiction and beat off.

Miley Cyrus will supposedly be paid big bucks if she stars in a soft-core porno making out with a female porn star. Doesn’t Sex.com know that MiCy could buy a cozy Caribbean island with just the money from her Walmart Hannah Montana body spray collection?

On the latest episode of reality competition show “Let’s Fuck Up My Life Even More” only starring once-Disney star Lindsay Lohan, LiLo cancelled her interview with American treasure Barbara Walters because that might cause her to experience an hour of normalcy, derailing her from her self-motivated path of destruction.

Real Housewife of Atlanta, pop diva, and wig extraordinaire Kim Zolciak’s old boo Big Poppa was arrested this week for failing to appear in court for a previous citation that is decidedly un-sexy. BLOOP BLOOP!

Hot Topic cashier and former tie saleswoman at the Men’s Warehouse Avril Lavigne isn’t even a fan of her hubby-to-be’s music, which is bizarre because I thought everybody liked Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger?

Illuminati drug lord Ke$ha, or better known by Britney Spears as “Keisha,” released her music video for hit single “Die Young” and it continues with Ke$ha’s “shitty as fuck” music video motif.

Although the new James Bond film flirts with homoerotocism, the film fails to turn into a gay porno. I guess we’ll have to wait for James Bond 31 for that scene.

Honey Boo Boo got a new pet chicken and named it Nugget. Will her new farm animal follow in the path of Glitzy the Pig and become America’s next great gay rights activist?

Want to see Soulja Boy’s penis that he “accidentally” uploaded a picture of to Tumblr? If you’re excited to see trimmed pubes and dick pores, you’re in luck. Check out a fraction of his package here.

Joe Simpson keeps saying that he isn’t gay, but his white iPhone and painfully bleach blond hair say otherwise.

 

images via RealityTVGifs and E!Online

More from Alex Hughes:

One Direction Holds Puppies, World Explodes From Adorable Overload

39 Signs You’re A Twink

39 Things Basic Bitches Love

About Alex Hughes

Alex Hughes (Founder and Editor-in-chief) grew up in the Bible Belt and now lives in New York City. He is also an Assistant Editor at The Faster Times and Faster Times Media, as well as a contributor to SLC Speaks. You can follow him on Twitter @TheAlexHughes or e-mail him at

2 Responses to Justin Bieber’s Sex Doll, Louis Tomlinson Hates On Larry, Honey Boo Boo’s New Pet, and Everything Else You Missed This Week In Pop

  1. Pingback: 5 Twinks Justin Bieber Should Date

  2. Pingback: Justin May Be Back With Selena, Channing Tatum Named Sexiest Man, Lady Gaga’s New Video, and Everything Else You Missed This Week In Pop | The Homo Life

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