The #1 question I’m most often asked is “how the fuck did you get so many followers on Twitter?” The answer isn’t that simple.
First of all, you have to ask yourself what you want out of Twitter. If you want to be a casual observer, then ignore everything I’m about to say. If you want to be a hit, then listen the fuck up. There are tons of different types of Twitter accounts: celebrity, parody, porn, business, comedy, etc. I am going to focus on one: comedy.
So you want to be funny, huh? Twitter is the opposite of Facebook, so don’t tweet garbage like “going to hang out with friends!” or “just got home and am relaxing with a nice bucket of popcorn.” No one gives a shit on Facebook, and they give even less of a shit on Twitter. You have to think of Twitter as a game. Every single tweet you write counts. (The Library of Congress even saves and records each one.) So unlike Facebook, on Twitter it is quality vs. quantity, and quality rules.
It all starts with the name you choose. It should be something catchy and simple and true to you. I came up with @GayAtHomeDad because I’m a stay-at-home dad who happens to be gay. Wordplay is always appreciated on Twitter so I swapped out the word “stay” with “gay “ and voilá, people love the fuck out of it. Believe me, if I changed my profile name to my real name “Frank Lowe,” I would see an instant decrease in followers. This doesn’t mean that you can’t be you. It just means you have to be a clever version of yourself. Here are some examples:
1) You’re a mom who drives a pickup = @Mothertrucker
2) You’re a gay guy who wears glasses = @4EyesForGuys
3) You’re a chef who loves vodka = @MyGreyGooseIsCooked
4) You’re a lesbian magician = @tricksNchicks (and licks!)
5) You’re a dominatrix rapper = @masterbeats
6) You’re a male escort = @BonerLoaner
7) You’re a hot mommy who bakes = @MILFandCookies
8) You’re an insatiable power bottom = @PutJunkInMyTrunk
If you can’t think of a witty handle, your goose really is fucking cooked. I see buttloads of the same exact things: @Shit__________Say or @______Problems or @(insert boring handle). These were great at the beginning of Twitter, but now they are a dime a dozen, and unless you already have thousands of followers, think again (i.e. @ShitTwinksSay is the only one I follow for a reason).
Put on your thinking cap (get drunk) and figure out who your persona is.
Follow Frank on Twitter! @GayAtHomeDad
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