If you’re anything like me, the phrase “keeping it classy” usually refers to the exact opposite: being a hot mess. My nights out with the gays are some of my most memorable (of what I can remember, at least) and the best nights of my life.
Whether you’re out at a bar, a downtown loft with your favorite gays, an after-party at one of the city’s best hotels, or any social event, keeping it classy is always the way to go to make the most of your Friday night, and here’s my check list to make sure you do just that.
1. Know your limits, and then ignore them. Most mornings I wake up hungover and think to myself, “was chugging that drink at 1 a.m. really necessary?” Everyone has limits, but what fun is it to follow them? Get trashed. Take a couple of shots. My favorite thing about ordering shots is they’re the fraction of the size of a mixed drink and just 100% booze. Taking that shot can take you from a 7 to a hot mess in a matter of minutes. You don’t necessarily have to do this EVERY time you go out, but every now and then it can be fun. If you do choose to do it every Friday, take it from me, it’s worth it.
2. DANCE. Whether you actually enjoy dancing or you had a stressful week and just want to let loose, dance your ass off. At the gay bars I frequent, the dance floor doesn’t get going until well after midnight. This gives you plenty of time to get wasted before you head out and hip thrust to One Direction. Depending on your level of intoxication and self-confidence, dancing can be just you and your friends, or you can bounce around dancing with any guy who will have it (this option is way better). Note: if you’re that 19-year-old who thinks he’s dancing with glow sticks around his neck and may or may not be on ecstasy, we may dance with you, but know we are making fun of you.
3. Remove clothing. Whether or not it’s actually hot, the amount of shirtless gays I see on a Friday night is pure sexual torture for my straight girl eyes. Show your shit off. Really, nothing screams how drunk you are when your shirt is in your hand, or in a girlfriend’s purse. Unless you’re Lena Dunham on Girls, I wouldn’t recommend taking on your shirt, so I always opt for ditching my shoes. I’m sure all ladies who have worn heels to the bar and attempted to dance can relate. Nothing screams how classy you are quite like carrying 4-inch heels in your hand through the bar looking for your friends so you can go home. And yes, this happens frequently. You’d think I’d learn my lesson after getting kicked out for being barefoot once.
4. Become friends with the staff. Having a relationship with bartenders, security, door guys, etc. is not a bad thing. Bartenders will take good care of you, which may require them cutting you off at some point, but in the long run, it’s for your own good. When two bartenders cut you off in the same night, you know you’re a mess and maybe you should drink some water.
5. Make out with someone. Honestly, if you haven’t made out with a stranger at a bar at least once, you need to make some changes in your life. Plus, there’s nothing more that a straight girl loves than drunkenly making out with a gay guy. Just remember ladies that they will never go home with you. The kissing starts and stops at the bar.
Following these guidelines can ensure that you will have a good Friday night. If they don’t, then you need some new friends. Don’t worry about being “that guy” or “that girl” because once it happens once, you get over it. Everyone has a night where they were a complete train wreck and don’t remember anything passed 11 pm. Be safe and party with your friends. Now it’s your turn. GO!
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image via ShockinglyTasty’s Flickr