Gay-At-Home Dad Answers: When Should I Start Having Sex With A Guy I’m Dating?

Welcome to the gay sex-ed class you never had.


Dear Frank, 

I’ve been dating a boy that I really like for about 2 weeks now. We talk a lot, go out on dates regularly, and we have a lot of fun. I want to wait to have sex until we are a little more committed. Neither of us are virgins, but we thought it would be healthy to wait. When we talked about it, I felt like we were on the same page. 

Then, making out turned into rubbing. Rubbing turned into a hand job. He then offered to take it a few steps further, but I turned him down. I’m confused because I thought we wanted the same thing– to wait. But he seemed to want to keep going. 

He hasn’t really pushed the issue. I want to make sure he’s happy. I also want to make sure that we have a good foundation for a relationship. I think he’s a keeper. Do we wait? How do I know when we’re ready?



Dearest J,

Clearly you’re a young little nugget, and obviously I think this situation is both adorable and super hot. I’m going to speak from personal experience, as I recently celebrated my 15-year anniversary (of being together) with my husband.

I don’t know what the fuck you’re waiting for! Seriously. I’m not saying you should be a total slutbag, but obviously you like this guy and he likes you so what’s the hold up? Sex is EXTREMELY important in a relationship so how do you know if you want to be committed if the sexual chemistry is off? I don’t mean to sound like a bitch, I’m trying to encourage you to take that rubbing and turn it into sucking and then maybe a little rimming and some (safe) fucking. You don’t have to be a porn star right away. Don’t think you need to start pulling out the dildos and nipple clamps. Save that stuff for the one-month anniversary.

My man and I had a similar start but we fucked around on the third date. I think by the fourth one we were fully fucking, like maybe two weeks in. Having sex early does not ruin a potential relationship. If anything, it is a litmus test of whether or not the relationship is sustainable. Keep in mind this is all my own opinion, but if you think he’s a keeper, you better make sure you two can fuck properly, and don’t end up just bumping booties.

Get on that! (lit/fig)

- Frank (@GayAtHomeDad)


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