Gay-At-Home Dad Answers: Is It Possible To Just Be Friends With Another Gay Guy?

Gay kissing

Can you be friends with a gay guy without this happening?


Hi Frank!

I’m the type of person who can always get along with anyone and everyone but when it comes to gay guys, for some reason we just don’t get along at all. It’s just high school crap! I can’t have friends that are gay males because it always comes to them trying to hook up! Is it possible to be able to get along with gay people? I know I can relate to most of them but I just end up being a hater and I shouldn’t be.



Dearest D:

This is a FANTASTIC question. Once again, my experience in high school was closeted because it was the ‘90s. I more or less hung out with the freaks and the geeks (and they were amazing). There was one gay guy who was also closeted and naturally we hooked up a couple of times, but then I fell for him and got obsessed and it just got plain weird.

First, to answer your question, yes, it is possible to be just friends with other homos. I actually have a shit-ton of platonic gay friends and trust me, the last thing we want to do is fuck (well, I’m sure they want to fuck me but that isn’t happening). In all seriousness, they do relate to you in that special way, and it is important to build friendships like this. It takes work though. Remember, we are statistically a minority, so the pool is already small. So don’t beat yourself up if you can’t make a friendly connection at your high school. Have you tried social media? The nice thing is the distance. You could easily make some long-distance gay friends so you have someone to talk to (VENT TO) and not have to worry about a physical connection. It is up to you to set that tone. (Make sure not to get catfished.)

I also suggest having a gaggle of girl friends (I’m sure you already do.) They are great for when you want to talk about dick. Not so great when you want to talk about ass, but there isn’t much to say except keep it squeaky clean and pray for the best. Also, some of my dearest friends are straight guys. Believe it or not, open-minded straight guys are incredible to befriend. Truly gay men have testosterone pumping through us and some “guy time” is actually good for us. My husband is a total “guy’s guy” and I’ve always found it fucking hot. Usually alternative dudes are a great way into these friendships.

So in review:
Gay friends = online, long-distance, and crystal clear about the expectations. (until college when you will meet more)

Girl friends = many of them, the hotter the better, and the ones who love to talk and talk and talk and talk.

Straight guy friends = alternative types, still masculine enough (think shooting pool), and able to kick it with.

All the best,

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One Response to Gay-At-Home Dad Answers: Is It Possible To Just Be Friends With Another Gay Guy?

  1. Great answer, but what about those of us who left high school long ago and yet cannot find platonic gay male friends? It’s the same thing over and over – I want to hang out, they want to hook up. I’m not some bath-house whore who fucks every guy he’s friends with. Why can’t gay men just be friends without wanting to get laid?

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