Gay-At-Home Dad Answers: How Do I Give My Man A Massage?

Welcome to the gay sex-ed class you never had.


Dear Mr. Flawless,

I’ve been casually talking to a guy for about three weeks now. We are both very busy people and don’t often get to see one another. I want to take things to the next level, since we’ve only made out thus far, and show him how much I care. So, I’ve decided to treat him to a massage, since he is always stressed. Any tips for how things may go in the bedroom? I don’t want it to be blatantly sexual – more sensual, preferably. Should I add something to the massage? Any treats? I’ve never done something like this before and I am just a tad bit nervous.



You can just call me flawless. Using “mister” makes it so formal.

My first thought is congratulations for NOT fucking yet. Three weeks in to “talking to a guy” without any dick or ass action is a major achievement in the gay world. I hope the make-out sessions are hot and heavy, but blue balls SUCK. It’s def time to take it to the next level.

Your massage idea works, but I personally interpret that as foreplay. I have a feeling the majority of people do as well, so be aware that your dude might think the same thing. That being said, you will be in full control as the masseur. You must see how he reacts and whether or not you want things to escalate (i.e. if he gets a giant boner, you better have a Plan B).

Have you ever received a professional massage? I get them almost weekly. There is nothing remotely sexual about them and there are several reasons why:

•    The lighting – low but not “let’s fuck” low.

•    The music – keep it “easy listening” like Enya or any other of that hippie shit. Stay away from Beyonce’s slow jams.

•    Him – have him undress but use a towel to cover his steamy man parts. This is very important. NEVER let that towel come off.

•    Oil – This definitely creates the “sensual” vibe you desire. Find one with a soothing, relaxing scent. If you run across any edible oils? Those are meant for fucking.

•    You – Stay dressed. Maybe even keep your suit on from work (which is so fucking hot to me). Also you will set the tone with WHERE you massage him. Avoid the towel area if you don’t want things to heat up.

Again, if he sticks is ass up slightly in the air or gets a raging hard-on, it’s your choice whether or not you want to get in there and pleasure him (but be careful, if you don’t you could hurt his feelings). My point? Be ready. A massage can be a great and relaxing thing, but it can also be the perfect catalyst to a very happy ending.

- Frank (@GayAtHomeDad)


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image via Flickr user o5com


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One Response to Gay-At-Home Dad Answers: How Do I Give My Man A Massage?

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