Whether it’s “HBIC,” “ratchet,” or “twerk,” gays have been at the forefront of embracing new idioms before they enter into the mainstream vernacular. But as a community we’re not always right about which words should take off like Britney Spears’ underwear, so I’m going to make the case for five terms that need to be banned from the gay dictionary.
1. Slay – Chances are that you aren’t slaying anyone with your mixtape or your new mirror picture that you’re about to upload to Grindr. If you’re in fact using this as a verb to describe what Blue Ivy Carter and Penelope Scotland Disick do on a daily basis, then yes, you can use “slay” for that, but most other cases are not going to pass my gay litmus test.
2. Flaw-free – “Flaw-free” would be okay except for the fact that 90% of what gays describe to be free of flaws are actually full of them. Whether it’s Christina Aguilera, Demi Lovato, or your bartending skills, most of these things are made of a high percentage of flaws, so please tone down the rhetoric or you will start being as unreliable and frightening as Tara Reid at an open bar.
3. Stan – “Stan” is just so fucking annoying. Okay, I get it, you stan for that really French bakery’s iced coffee, jockstraps, the new twink of the month at Bel Ami, one of the kids from the Glee Project, and your pop princess of choice, but please start using a normal word because everyone over 26 and anyone without the gay gene will continue asking you what the fuck you’re talking about.
4. Shade – I get it, I bet you really were so good at shading that douche bag at your party last night, but let’s leave all the talk of shade to Ms. Nene Leakes.
5. Kiki – Do I even have to explain this one? Kiki exploded this past summer thanks to the Scissor Sisters and has been driven into the ground my a frolicking stampede of 20-something homosexuals proclaiming everything from a gang bang to an open bar to a lonely night sitting on front of the TV watching Real Housewives of New Jersey to be a “kiki.” Stop it. We’re better than this and we’re smarter than this. Let’s use our collective intelligence and sort the good from the bad, or at least hire Tiffany Pollard to be the judge.
Image via: UrbanDictionary.com